she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
