let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
