Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
