I wish I could teleport
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
