the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
