What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
