babies were throwing up all over the place
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize