just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
