he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
