Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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