and my herpes radar will keep us safe
meet me or not, i'm out of control
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
