Cold hands, warm shart.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
