Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
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He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
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Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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