So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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