9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I understand Curling. That high.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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