I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
