I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize