Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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