Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
this just has baby written all over it
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
