You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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