The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize