pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
