I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
