Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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