The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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