there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick very happy bro
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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