Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
