Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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