It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
