Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize