this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
