so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
