did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
someone owes me an orgasm
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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