I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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