i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
40s are totally the cure
Randomize
