There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
