come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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