I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I'm really busy with my period
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