apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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