I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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