Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Everyone says I win the strip club
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
