I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
