Bisexual people are plain selfish.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
