hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
