I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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