Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
