The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
