Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
