last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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