Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
