I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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