Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
