Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
