dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
