btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
