lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
