i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
