No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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