Got a toothbrush?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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