I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
